Updated Pranks: 2020

Pining for a world to cater to you and recuse accountability? Boy, don’t we all? Luckily, here’s a list of updated pranks you can play and still get those radical thrills.

1. Antiquing: so funny. You can make your sleeping friends look old as FUCK doing this. The trick is to fit the Biden 2020 shirt on them before they wake!
2. Ding-dong-ditch: a blunt way to let people know they’re alone in this world. 2020’s version inverses the childhood classic. Here you turn the lights off in your home @ 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue and ditch an entire country! Yoopilidee!
3. Multi-pizza-ing: strongly encouraged. Small businesses need support during Covid! Other pizza pranks include: pizza gate, pizza fountain, and starting an OnlyCalzonés.
4. Jello Molding (office classic): do you want to get fired?? Fuck. Jello molding, aka sanctioning rape culture á la Bill Cosby’s model of fame, will make you famous, just not the good kind.
5. Radical acceptance: OK, this will hit your target faster than Jevon Kearse around the edge. Plus, the fun lasts for decades, just like Jevon’s career! You’ll earn the same nickname as him, “The Freak”, because making sense of 2020 proves ludacris, but prank us with your bleary-eyed understanding, ya Freak!